I was once in love

There are times when you fall in love with someone who gives you everything you need emotionally and the thought of being away from that person seems like the worst thing that could possible happen. A wise men once said “there is nothing like love” and  there was once a time when I believed in that proclamation, since love is one of those things that happen when you least expect.

Once upon a time I fell in love for the very first time. Even though we knew that we couldn’t be together since he was in a relationship, we entertained the irrepressible connection. I had to pull myself together and suppress those feelings. I don’t know who I was trying to fool even though heaven knew  I loved that idiot. He was mine, yet the thought of taking him from another guy seemed too devious for me because I knew that once I had him, fu*king it up was not an option. He’d stolen my heart; there was no way I was going to let him get away with it.

Fast forward to a month later, we were in a relationship. It seems like fate wanted us to be together, I loved how we loved each other childishly, the way I used to tease him and the way he’d make me laugh…however I could not get used to the fact that he’d broken up with his boyfriend for me. If he could do that to him, he was most likely to do it to me too…nah uh, that did not sit well with me. I had to do something about it; this is my heart we’re talking about. It’s at risk of being broken by this beautiful man who has committed to me. I could have easily called things off, believe me I’m very good at that. “Hey fool, you’ve got my heart and I want it back” I could have told him, but that would have been easy. I don’t like doing things the easy way. The only thing I did was to ignore him, when I’d get phone calls from him, I’d pull my face as if I had just indulged on a small piece of shit. Our relationship vanished into thin air with no communication between us whatsoever.

My point is,there is that abnormal love that is not good for either parties involved. It is the love that makes one do strange things just to prove how much one cares for their partner, the abnormal toxic love. .. I’ve had that love, I’ve learned my lesson, I’ve grown and I’ve realized that love is not how one defines it, it defines you and lives within all of us. I was in love with an idiot and I broke his heart because he had broken his ex boyfriend’s heart.

One of my favorite photos i took while i was in Capetown.

One of my favorite photos i took while i was in Capetown.